Eurovision

Andy: But doesn't the same country always win? Isn't it always Argentina?

Supplements

Andy: I won a competition the other day

Morné: Oh, what did you win, a toaster?

Andy: No, I won the chance to try  some supplements, that are not on the market yet

Morné: Oh, really

Andy: Yeah, I’m quite happy about it – supplements are fine, they can’t do you any harm.

Body temperature

(on the topic of Vettel overtaking Webber against team orders in the most recent F1 race)
Andy: They should sack him!
KB: They won't sack him, but they should suspend him from the next race in my opinion.
Andy: They should give him a really warm suit next race to make him uncomfortable and make his body temperature really warm!
KB: They're already really warm! Do you know what their body temperatures go up to during a race?
Andy: Ninety degrees?
KB: What?!
Andy: Nineteen degrees? Twenty degrees?
AF and KB stare at Andy blankly
Andy: OK, then I think they should put a bee inside his helmet in the next race. To scare him!

Hydration incompetence

KB: How much water do you drink every day?
Andy: About 6 litres.
KB: That's too much! You're probably running a 300% increased chance of becoming incontinent!
Andy: I'm already incompetent!

Muse

Andy: If you tell me you've got mayonnaise in that I'm not going to be happy.
AF: (points to mayonnaise)
Andy: What! Karin, I thought you were supposed to be his muse!
AF & KB: ha ha!
Andy: What? Isn't that someone who helps someone?

Eyelets

AF: how many eyelets do you have on your shoes?
Andy: ah, ok. 12 plus 12, that's 48!
KB: Ha ha!
AF: There are more than 12 per shoe?
Andy: yeah but I'm not using the top ones, so I don't consider them to be eyelets.

Regretfully resenting

Andy: I watched this video on youtube about animal furs. It said graphic, but I watched it anyway and now I resent it.
AF: You resent it?
Andy: I resent watching it.
AF: Do you mean you regret watching it?
Andy: Yes, that's it!

What?

Andy: That's an "S"! The "5" can be constroon as a jess.

Tough Mudder

Andy: The electrodes are my biggest fear. That one of them will hit me in the eye and pop my eye.

Sitcom

Andy: I'm losing interest in The Walking Dead. This always happens with US sitcoms – it happened with Lost as well. They start focusing on all of these new people.

AF: Why are you referring to it as a sitcom?

Andy: Because it is!

KB: Do you know what a sitcom is?

Andy: Yes, it’s a show that has a story that continues through different episodes.

AF: That’s not what a sitcom is.

KB: Andy, do you know what sitcom is short for? SITuation COMedy. 

Mammoth

Andy: Is a marsupial something that can live in or out of water?
KB: no, that's an amphibian
Andy: something that walks on its hind legs?
KB: what, you mean like a human?
Andy: yeah right, that would be a mammoth.